Where Scandal Rules Scandal(ou)s Bureau of
[ Information | Investigation | Incrimination | Instigation | Insinuation ]
Lives of great men all remind us
We can make our lives sublime,
And, departing, leave behind us
Footprints on the sands of time;– A Psalm of Life, Henry W. Longfellow.
Though it might make our writing worse,
but here we have to speak in verse,
for writing ’bout the greatest (wo)men
doth call for the poetic pen.
So softly cast in written rhyme
we humbly bring to you this time
a trip through those footprints sublime,
with all the scandals and the crime.
A brainy sketch of the IIT’s gem –
this ballad of Miss P.G.M.
On 15th Aug. was born a star
within the family of Talwar
and we are pleased this prodigy
did make his way to IIT-D.
Smarter than Einstein, brighter than Sirius,
faster than lightning, greater than genius
this supercomp. in human shape
leaves batchmates and all profs. agape
with brilliant brain and prowess great.
His kindly nature effeminate
and beauteous face ‘midst handsome curls
earn lecherous glances from the girls.
They love the way this cute l’il boy
shies away like a maiden coy.
“Woh sharmate hue bahut achhaa lagta hai”— A non-male IBM Trainee.
We love it when this swiftest brain
to lesser mortals does explain
circuits with crazy BJTs
and PCP with equal ease.
Once when he went to take a leak
there follow’d (though maybe not to peek)
good old grinning Gokul Vardhan
with doubts from MA one-one-one.
Thus has been Miss PGM pursued,
but always generous, never rude
she has with loving care explained
all worthy problems that remained.
“I expected u to be smarter”— Source withheld.
Now for scandals to reveal.
Miss PGM’s Achilles’ heel:
a balding spot, devoid of hair
causing frustration and despair.
With groans and moans does KT toil,
tries shampoo’d foam, hair styles and oil
but never got his hair to grow.
And all his loving wingmates know
that once you pull his stubborn hair
to see the baldness shining there,
you may with ease extract from him
each greedy treat, each horny whim.
He’s generous, loving, caring, kind
to sick people. You’ll never find
a more compassonate, diligent nurse.
He oft cracks gandaas, or worse,
gives mortal souls but little choice
to hear the melody in his voice.
Recall, how from the depths of hell
a hyena’s howl with Tarzan’s yell
arose, to the agony of his wing
whenever KT tried to sing.
Gifted singers oft discourse
that KT singeth like a horse,
and one feels that his throaty crash
is like the braying of an ass.
Still, some did deem it quite all right
for him to sing on music nite.
With closed eyes and open mouth
(from whence came not the slightest sound!),
while Sexy sang all black with rage
did KT prance upon the stage.
Before him, brimming future whirls –
with a billion dollars, gorgeous girls.
KT, heed their breaking hearts –
think not of problems NP-hard.
Go forth, rise higher and high, KT –
and always keep us proud of thee.