Where Scandal Rules Scandal(ou)s Bureau of
[ Information | Investigation | Incrimination | Instigation | Insinuation ]
It is a pleasure to introduce you to S.B.I. [ Scandal(ou)s Bureau of [Information | Investigation | Incrimination | Instigation | Insinuation ], a venture spearheaded by the renowned Tantan Sinha and my humble self. Our work is not unknown to you. Most of you would have witnessed our (actually, almost entirely Tantan’s) work in the presentations at the farewell. We will spare no effort in bringing to you all scandalously entertaining stuff about you and your batchmates.
We are open source advocates, and believe in revealing all fully and frankly – something we had to remind a semi-literate director of a tottering start-up, who was too scared to publish the results of his own poll. These craven fraudies were willing to sell their firm to S.B.I. for a measly outing at KLS (at least they were aware of their true worth!). However, the S.B.I. refuses to be party to deceptive, secretive process where pollers and pollsters try to conceal the obvious under the cover of “secret ballot”.
What we will bring to you are frank, revealing reports. We will write the truth, the whole truth, and much more. We will, of course continue the character sketches, with a glittering successor to the “The Bandit Queen”. Our vision is more long-term, though. We aspire to keep you informed of all the momentous occasions in the lives of all our batchmates, keeping you abreast of their affairs. What we are really looking forward to document are:
- The first marriage (Shaggy?)
- The first parent (Manchu?)
- Unbelievable achievements (Vamsi won a game of xblast tonight v/s Singla)
- The last virgin (Sulabh?)
These affairs may not always be entirely scandalous, but rest assured, whatever the affair, we will bring to you all the intricate, intimate details. We will never indulge in the reticence you see on the Kailash home page.
We have had four fantastic years together. Here’s to a scandalous lifetime with all of you!
Daroo Lab, VI-429